What Hurts the Most…

Sometimes you really wonder how much He is willing to test you. Whether you can handle all the grievances that seems to be thrown at you all at one go? Maybe.

I had the chance to visit a colleague who is in critical condition last Friday. Surprising how much I could hold on to my tears when others around me couldn’t. I prayed fervently for her, for her family, for her life. She still wanted to talk, still wanted to thank us for coming. The strength within such a beautiful soul. She’s beautiful, inside and out. Those gorgeous bambi eyes. It was only when we had left the ward and walked out of the building that I let the tears fall. We walked away, tearstreaks on our faces, tears in our hearts, not caring who saw.

Yesterday, my mum received a call from her bestie in JB. Her son was involved in an accident. Initial tests did not pick up much injury. But later at night, we received another call. His liver had been damaged. Somehow crushed by the impact. His life hanging in the balance, despite surgery this morning. His younger brother ran to my mum and hugged her, crying, the moment my parents arrived at the hospital. Doctors are giving him a 50-50 chance.
This is the national rugby player, this is the soccer player, this is the apple of his parents’ eyes. This is the one who is like my younger brother, teasing me on the sly. This is the one who protects me from harm in crowded places. This is the one with such a bright and shiny future in front of him.
The drive home from the hospital was a silent one for my parents. I couldn’t do anything but watch when my mum cried while describing his condition. I couldn’t say anything, the tears had taken over.

The fact of the matter is, I can’t do anything for either of them. All I can do is pray. But nobody said it wouldn’t hurt. I guess what hurts the most is when you know them personally.

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