Happines. Its a feeling that screams of positivity. It makes you think of smiles and sunny skies and fluffy clouds against a blue sky. But then again, it depends on your perception. What makes you happy? What makes me happy?
For me, happiness is always there, within reach but elusive, never actually there when I need it to be there. I just want to be happy. People ask what’s my wish or deepest desire and I’d never tell because I don’t want to hear people scoff. But there it is. Happiness. I just want to be happy. It’s all I ever asked for.
“So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down?”
Every year, I make the same wish. I say it in my prayers. I just want to be happy. I know I’m the smiley, bubbly, happy-personality person everyone sees me to be and I don’t deny it. I smile and I laugh easily. Simple gestures, simple thoughts, easy smiles. Hugs and kisses, ice cream, nutella, soto, kittens, babies, jokes, friends, loved ones.
Intermittent bursts of sporadic happiness. It doesn’t seem to stick around. I try my best. Really, I do. I just want to be happy.
“Don’t care about all the pain in front of me, I just want to be… Happy.”